By: Lexis Jackson
Have you ever wanted to live abroad but you just do not know where to start? This is a guide that will cover a way to finally take that leap. As a previous au pair in Paris, France I will give you tips, tricks, and ways to make that process a bit easier.
The most common excuse I hear for not moving abroad is, I don’t have any money. I can’t leave my job/family/significant other. Or I just don’t have the time. Yes, you do. I am sure if you are reading this you are probably in your 20’s and this is the time to take that leap of faith because well, we are young!
Moving abroad has been such a life-changing experience for me and I know it will be for you too. You will learn a little more about the world, different cultures, languages, art, and most importantly yourself.
At least look at your options
You don’t need to commit just yet. Do some research see what is out there. There are so many resources especially in this day and age with youtube, blogs, you name it. The most popular job paths abroad are teaching English programs and au pairing. For this sake (and my personal knowledge) we are going to talk about au pairing!
Recommendation: Give yourself realistically about 3-6 months planning time if you think this is something you are really interested in
Ok, let's get into it.
1. Pick a Country
For this step, ask yourself a couple of questions. Where do you see yourself? What intrigues you about a foreign country? Do you speak any other language or would like to pick up one? Do you have family from a specific area and would like to learn more? Pick a place you are truly interested in and be curious.
2. Finding a Family
There are several options for finding a family. There are paid agencies, free agency platforms, Facebook pages. I personally used the website Au Pair world. I found that most au pairs I met did not pay for an agency. In my opinion au pair world lays everything out in simple steps without paying 300+ USD for an agent. That being said if you do not go through an agency you do have to be more careful about who you are trusting. For example, Au Pair World screens their families so you will most likely see what you get. But if you find au pair postings on Facebook (there are many au pair groups for different countries) then there could be room for uncertainty.
3. Picking a Family
So at this moment, you have probably made your profile or pitch to what you are looking for. My advice is, to be honest with yourself. Have you ever watched kids below 5? No? Then don’t start now. Sticking to what you are good at is key. If you don’t have experience with children go for older children. If you do have experience with younger kids then also keep in mind that this might be made more difficult with the language barrier.
After setting up a profile you will start getting matched with families that think their parameters align with yours. This is when you should start setting up Skype calls. (I think it is very important to set up at least 2 Skype calls with a family to see if you have a good feeling).
Some Questions to Ask While Having Skype Calls:
How old are the kids? What’s their current level of English?
What is a typical day of work look like? Will weekends be free?
What expenses will be covered during my stay? ( This will most likely be in their description if they are offering you less than 80 euro a week: pass. See below for my story)
Have you had au pairs previously? Would you mind if I reach out to him/her?
What are the holiday schedules? (This varies: In France, kids have 4/5 2 week vacations. It is common for host families to give you a vacation 1 week and you work full time the 2nd week.)
How much cleaning is required? Do you have a housekeeper? (You are not being paid to be a housekeeper!)
These questions are very important because you want to know exactly what you are signing up for. This will eventually be turned into a contract, so negotiate! You will be spending a lot of the time with this family and you want to be happy with the setup. When I first was interviewing with host families I saw a range of all payment plans. I interviewed with around 6 families in total. I had such a strong connection with one but that they were offering 70 euros a week. In my last interview with this family, I kindly stated that when I was doing my research that I felt more comfortable with 80 euros a week and promised them that I was a hard worker and I am confident they would not regret it. To this day we laugh about it because they still remember when I told them they would not regret it, they said, ‘okay she seems pretty confident and we believe her!’ Moral of the story: Sell yourself!
4. Applying for your visa
Ahh, the most exciting part (not). This process can be different depending on where you are from and what country you want to go to. On the au pair world website, they have a list of countries and documents needed to obtain the visa. It is definitely a long process so PLEASE do not do it last min and save yourself the anxiety. I would advise starting the visa process 3~ months before you leave. Here are some steps from the au pair worlds website to obtain a visa in France for non-EU citizens to give you an idea.
Step 1: Check the validity of the au pair's passport
If the au pair does not have a current passport, an application should be made immediately to obtain one. The passport must be valid for the full length of the intended stay in France.
Step 2: Au pair contract and visa application
To enter France as an au pair, a non-EU citizen needs a « visa long séjour VLS-TS». Only this type of visa makes it possible to come to France and work as an au pair. The au pair should contact the French Embassy in his/her home country for more detailed information about the necessary documents such as the au pair contract (convention au pair) signed by both parties. Au pairs who need a visa must have a basic knowledge of the French language (A1/A2). Please note: it may take some time until the visa is issued.
You will have a long list of documents you will need to take to the embassy in your home country for the Visa application. I was super nervous the first time but don’t be! Try to be as prepared as possible but if you forget something minor they will email you the missing document, no problem! For the language step, all I had to do was write a (google translated) motivation letter that I am sure no one ever read!
Step 3: Validation of the long-stay visa and registration at the OFII (online process)
Once in France the au pair must validate his/her visa online and declare himself/herself to the OFII. The au pair MUST do it within three months of arriving in France. If the au pair fails to do so, he/she will no longer be legally present in France and will be unable to re-enter the Schengen Area. The validation procedure is completely online and the au pair will need to provide:
The information on his/her visa;
The date on which he/she entered France;
His/her residential address in France;
His/her credit card to pay online the issuance fee for the appropriate residence permit or electronic stamp for his/her circumstances, which can be purchase at any newsagent.
Step 4: Registration with the URSSAF
Within eight days of the au pair's arrival in France, the host family needs to register him/her with the local URSSAF (Unions de Recouvrement des cotisations de Sécurité sociale et d'allocations familiales) as a "stagiaire aide familial étranger". Furthermore, it is compulsory that they register you with the insurance institution Caisse Primaire d'Assurance Maladie to have him/her covered in case of illness and maternity. The host family will pay the Social Security contributions.
Your host family should take care of this last step so you don’t need to worry!
5. Arrival
Like I said every family is different and this will vary. Immediately with my host family, I had great communication with them. It was very easy to speak what was on my mind and they listened. This might not always be the case especially if your host family does not speak your native language well. That being said, you need to ask yourself if you really want to get immersed in the language and have a family that doesn’t speak your native tongue (which can be very hard at first but in the long run rewarding towards your language goals). In my case, I had a family who lived in London for several years so the whole family spoke English well and our working relationship was in English which made it easier for communication but not so good for my french.
Your arrival should be comfortable and welcoming. In my first couple of weeks, I spent a good amount of time getting to know the family. They took me driving, exploring the city, and had me try some delicious food to get more familiar with the culture and the area.
My typical schedule: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday: 4-7 pm, Wednesday: 9 am 1 pm /4-7 pm, Saturday: Free Sunday: 5-7 pm. I would also babysit no more than once or twice a week. My typical day to day activities included English homework, bringing kids to sports, arts and crafts, preparing snacks. I was also responsible for light housework regarding the kids (remember you are only there for the kids). This would include doing their laundry, tidying up their room, getting school bags ready. These tasks should be completed within your set working hours. Schedules vary between families but generally work around the same pattern in France. Some families ask the au pair to drop them at school in the typical morning.
6. Living situations
As an au pair, you will most likely have two setups live in or live out. This meaning you will have a room in the home of the family or they will supply you with your own studio or Chambre de bonne in France.
Pros of live in: You will be closer to your host family (learn more about the culture), access to their food/supplies, dinners will usually be prepared for you, you will most likely have a little extra room to yourself
Cons of live in: Not as much privacy, awkward run-ins when you are drunk, justifying what you do with your free time
Pros of live out: Privacy, more independence, can have people over
Cons of live out: Can be lonely, living spaces are usually very small, laundry will have to be taken to host parents or laundry mat, buy and cook your own food (more expense). In this case I would ask your host family for a food allowance as they should provide food via au pair contract
Personally, I lived in with my host family. I had a great experience with this. At first, I was scared about leaving and coming back at late hours, but the host parents really respected my free time and did not make me feel uncomfortable about those situations. I recommend live in if you want to get the full experience with your family, and if you get homesick easily this will be a good way to have a family there. I know my friend who lived out did not have a close relationship with her host parents it was more work and leave whereas I got extremely close with my host family. But this is of course a preference up to the individual and what he/she prefers.
Living in the city or the suburbs
This is definitely something you should think about. Living in the city it is easier to move around and be involved in the thick of things, but this also means you will not live in a house you will live in an apartment which will most likely be much smaller than living in the suburbs. You will have the city lights and the busy bustle of the streets living in the city whereas in the suburbs it will be a bit more calm more parks and greenery. I think both options are good options depending on what you want. I recommend if you chose to live in the suburbs make sure you have an easy connecting train into whatever city you are closest to. I personally lived in the suburbs but it was only a 15 min ride into Paris. However, this did decrease my time in the city because I would really go to Paris on the weekends when I knew I had concrete plans.
7. Get to know your family
I think this is very important because the more you get to know your family the easier communication will be. There will always be moments when you need to ask questions or problems that arise. It is important that you have open communication or else it can get very frustrating. If you set up a good dynamic with your host family it will make the year more smooth. Also if communication just is not clicking and you can’t seem to get on the same page you always have options. These families need you more than you need them.
You can absolutely switch families
Once you become an au pair you have access to multiple group chats/Facebook pages. Here you will find many listings about host families searching for new au pairs. You are also set up with a community of au pairs that could personally know families that need a new au pair. If your situation is not what you expected look for a new family. It is not the end of the world and totally doable.
8. How to Budget your money
Let's talk about money. Au pairs this isn’t the highest paying job but what do you get in return?
Accommodation
Food while you are at the host parents home
Social security/health insurance
Metro pass
Other things families could pay for
Language courses
Phone bill
Flight to and from home country
These are the most common things that host families cover. This also depends on your host family. If they do not cover at least the first bullet points you need to negotiate. On top, you will get a minimum 80 euros a week. I had to pay for my phone bill but I got a good deal for 15 euros a month. This money should mainly be for leisure. My suggestion is to eat at the host families when you can and take advantage of free things around in the area you are in. In Paris, they have a ton of free options for students and expats. Also, the metro cards provided can usually take you all around the area so discover places near you! I would suggest you do have a bit of savings before coming to a new country though because (especially if you like to travel and go out to eat) it can add up. There are also options to tutor English alongside being an au pair. In France, the maximum working hours for an au pair is 25 hours you will have plenty of free time alongside.
9. Making friends and getting involved!
This can be daunting moving into a new country and not knowing anyone. My suggestion is to join as many groups on Facebook. Join a language course that is geared towards au pairs. You can find this out by writing in a group chat asking what the most popular language courses are. Go to meetups and events! (Hopefully when you are planning to come COVID-19 will be finished, but they still hold events online.) Also, I know it sounds funny but Bumble friends! Yes, its like dating for friends but there are often a lot of expats just like you searching for like-minded people to hang out with:)
Overall I would not take back my year as an au pair for anything in the world. I formed such a strong connection to my host family which heavily influenced my decision to stay. I still speak and see them as often as possible, which is so special to me. I learned so much from them, about myself and really fell in love with Paris. I made everlasting friends and met such amazing people along the way. Along with that, it is also a great resume builder because you are assimilating into another culture, learning a language, and being responsible for the kids you are looking after. Although I really have little to no cons about my experience, I will say that if you are more determined to learn a language then I would recommend picking a family where the kids speak little to none of your native languages. I found it very difficult to speak french with my host family because they were all so good at English! Also, be picky. Ask questions. Keep interviewing families until you have exactly what you want. This experience can be one of the best times of your life if you find the right situation geared to you.
If you have any further questions or comments don’t hesitate to leave them below! I hope you found this helpful.
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Lexis Jackson is a current intern at SO SEIZE. She is originally from New Jersey and been living in Paris for the past couple of years. She is currently completing her masters in Fashion. Feel free to follow her on Instagram @lexisjaxon